I believe that our children are sent by God to reposition us in our lives, to awaken us to the essential. I know they have come to teach us and I also know that these ten questions can change your life.
The mother-child or father-child relationship is the most important relationship of your whole existence! Accept consciously this invitation and open your heart, watch as your child flies.
10 Questions for you to reflect on:
1. Do you really want your child to be a ‘mini-version’ of you?
Just because you brought him/her to life or you conceive him/her, it does not mean that he/she belongs to you. He/she has his/her own essence, soul and mission on this Planet, totally different from yours. Just like you, your child is a unique BEING that deserves to exist just as he/she is! Accepting your child is the first step for your connection.
2. What would happen if you let go the need to have your child asking for your approval constantly?
Set aside the need for control and trust your child, and above all trust yourself. This is perhaps your biggest challenge.
3. Do you really need him/her to be graded by a teacher as “excellent” to feel proud of him/her and share it on social networks?
He/she just needs to feel that you love him/her and accept him/her unconditionally, just as he/she is, in his/her authenticity, without any judgement!
4. Do you really believe that, by wishing to protect him/her from pain, you are supporting him/her?
This need arises only from your anxiety, from your fears. Learn to experience and welcome every emotion you feel, and only then you are able to be the example they need to learn how to deal with pain and the natural imperfection of the world.
5. Does it hurt when someone from outside rejects you?
It is normal, and it will happen throughout your life. We cannot please everyone, and this is a sign of consistency with our values. The only rejection you can avoid is yours in relation to your child. If you feel it, it is deeply toxic and it means that you are rejecting yourself, a feeling that can dictate your end.
6. A social belief (conveniently) installed mumbles that “you are not a good enough mother”. Do you choose to keep feeding it?
It is time for you to stop. You always do the best you can and you know at each moment. Keep working on your best version.
7. Your child does not have the latest model of gaming console, mobile phone, surfboard…?
Great! Congratulations! He/she just needs your time, active listening, presence and attention. “Luxuries” (those that money buys) are secondary. Start listening to yourself, and then you are ready to listen to your child.
8. What if you stop saying that you have to change your whole life because of your child?
You just have to change the present moment! Just that! It is when you live! Besides that, it has never to do with your child, it has always to do your yourself, with the resources you have at each moment to deal with what life offers you.
9. Who sets the limits applied in the daily life of your family?
Were they created by all the elements of the household or are they rules imposed on you? Are they rules you grew up with? Do they make sense to you?
Because if they do not make any sense to you, your child will easily feel it and will naturally challenge you. It is an invitation to introspection and to review your intentions.
10. Do you feel the ‘Holon’ part of the great ‘Holon’?
We are all part of something greater and transcendent, the ‘Holon’.
I leave you a mantra so that you always remember this:
“You are the whole!
You are complete!
You are worthy!
When I see this in you, I see the same in me.”
Any kind of interaction you have with your child reflects your relationship with yourself. Your outer life is the reflection of your inner belief system and every event of your life is a call to the next step, for you to work on yourself, on your authenticity. And do you know something? Everything is always right, everything is always well.