If you’re reading me, probably is because you’re curious and you want to feel what mother are you, after all! But you know what, labels cause me some discomfort, so I choose just to BE the best mother I can and know in each moment. Always willing to learn more and do better.
Just another detail: stop competing to be the best mother in the world, that’s a myth and drains your energy!
You already know that besides investigating, I also practice Parenting with NLP. It’s a Parenting that lives of consciousness, of expansion, of connection, of equal value, equal dignity and of freedom with responsability. Today, I share with you eight practices for you to settle what mother are you, after all?!
Your vision will be clear when you will be able to look into your heart. Who looks to the outsider dreams. Who looks to the inside, awakes.
Move accordingly with your intentions and values. They’re your lanterns. Act accordingly to what makes sense to you and what you believe, genuinely. The path is from the soul to the heart and from there to the brain!
In 90% of my coaching appointments with NLP I hear: “Rita, but there are no limits, no rules?”. Yes, there are. And they exist not only from you, but also from your child’s part.
Act with responsibility, with the transforming energy of “yes”, of presence. And next time you answer “no” to your child, ask yourself: “Am I saying no because it’s easier to me? Because it allows me to be in control and not be bother? What is my inner motivation? That no fit my ego or my child?”.
3. Breathe deeply
When you scream once (or many times) you’re releasing anger (there’s something haunting you’re inner child). Do you really believe that anger allows you to connect with your child? You will only attract fear, distance and the destruction of the trust your child has on you.
Replace the screams with pauses and deep breaths! Slow down and remember that what at first sight may seem like a mistake, it’s only feedback!
Are meant to be lived! The majority of the problems of this world are due to our inability to feel our emotions. They frighten us! What´s the reaction? Running from or fighting them! Allow yourself to experience your emotions, they are the alchemical fire and teach your child to do the same. When we learn to deal with unpleasant feelings, everything changes.
5. Honour yourself
If you’re not good with yourself, you’re not good with your child! Honour yourself! It is the most effective and transforming tool you have at your disposal as a woman and a mother. Invest in yourself, in your essence and in your basic needs. Otherwise, your child will grow up believing he shouldn´t take care of himself.
6. You’re enough
A lot of mothers carry an overwhelming guilt from believing that they can do so much more besides the Herculean effort they already do. Free yourself from that guilt! You can only do what you do, in each moment. And everything it’s fine!
It only means to be here and now, to your child. All of your being! Body, mind and soul. It means zero mobiles, zero Facebook, zero Instagram… Wherever you are, you really are with your child, enjoying the happiness of him being who he is, exactly as he is! Live one moment at a time.
8. No judgements
How many times a day you self-judge? And your child? Unconsciously and with the best of intentions you may be comparing him with other children, for example. This way he ends up being someone he isn’t. The judgement ashames him and disconnects him from himself and from you. Love him unconditionally, accepting him exactly as he is and pay attention to your language.
What mother are you, after all?
If you still have doubts, you can always take this test. Whatever is the answer, I know you ARE much more than that! And you know it too.